and what he said - along with several other people - is stop worrying and just go for it. That is what I will try to do, but as the title of this blog says... The mind plays tricks. I have WAY too much time to think. And I am doing this 'thinking' all the time. Sometimes going with the worst scenario possible - something going wrong with the operation. Sometimes wondering about down the road - what will I be able to do. Sometimes I worry about all the time not working - as a self employed person.. no work.. no pay... there are no sick days.. there are no vacation days.. nothing that pays during that time.
At this point, I am trying to relax and let the time go by - the time required to wait for the next step.. the pre-op appointment where they take the blood.. talk to you.. generally you are a step closer and yet still so far from the day.
These days, a lot of doctors on not giving an actual surgery date until 6 weeks before the operation. So the phone will ring and then you know sort of when the operation is.
Of course the mind is wondering when that phone call will come... and tries to add the 6 weeks and see when the operation will be... so here we are in Oct.. no call yet.. so the operation would be.. at the earliest at this point... early december... so every week that goes by.. you play the game and see where you might be at this point.. when does the december opportunity leave... when do you figure it will be january...
and so planning things.. like clients that can't get you for 5 weeks.. or any plans at all really... when do you get to plan them? or finalize them... well not until the phone call...
is 6 weeks enough... for most.. but of course where my head is... it's not enough time to get things the way they need to be... so again the mind starts working on the 'unfairness' of the system..
the very fact that that is the way it has to work... the hospitals and the system are so stressed, that 1. we are booking 6 months in advance for things.. and 2. even surgery days can't be booked with any certainty until 6 weeks out... and apparently.. even those get changed a lot...
ahhhhh..
and so the mind keeps on churning in circles...
Tony... sure wish I could stop the worrying and carry on!...
as to the type of replacement.. just try and get a surgeon to actually answer that question for you.. that would mean you could actually talk with them!... only way is to make an appointment.. down the road about 3 weeks.. to go to their office for 3 minutes to get an answer they could give in an email or over the phone... a whole day off work (the nature of my work) to get the 2 minute answer... and 3 or 4 weeks down the road...
ahhhhh...
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